what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
