this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
