i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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