he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
