He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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