how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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