I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
So apparently I’m into choking now
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
