Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
