I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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