I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
