make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize