a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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