i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
