he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
