i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
