She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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