you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
