she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
foreskin is a definite game changer
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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