i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
