I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
