dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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