are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
