i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just want nice things and good sex
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
