Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
