some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
