she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
