It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
