I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
