That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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