i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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