i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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