well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
