i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
