omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
