dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
