im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
