Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
