think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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