There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
