You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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