this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
