He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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