why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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