and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
