at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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