Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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