did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I think my vagina is haunted
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
