I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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