My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
it's great music for shaving your balls
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
