Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?

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(732): last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night? http://tfl.nu/rkjl

Replies (9) Good night (3508) Bad night (844)
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(319): View more from Iowa

I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.

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(319): I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners. http://tfl.nu/k7br

Replies (79) Good night (1993) Bad night (6997)
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(614): View more from Ohio

It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.

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(614): It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask. http://tfl.nu/r7za

Replies (8) Good night (8178) Bad night (992)
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(256): View more from Alabama

He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.

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(256): He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front. http://tfl.nu/08qp

Replies (9) Good night (7598) Bad night (1084)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant

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(724): Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant http://tfl.nu/8r36

Replies (3) Good night (3539) Bad night (765)
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(330): View more from Ohio

He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.

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(330): He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses. http://tfl.nu/vaq0

Replies (16) Good night (4179) Bad night (1196)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?

(1-651): View more from Minnesota

yeah you don't forget that shit easily

(651): View more from Minnesota

We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.

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(651): You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"? (1-651): yeah you don't forget that shit easily (651): We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email. http://tfl.nu/xfpa

Replies (11) Good night (4734) Bad night (697)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.

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(918): Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either. http://tfl.nu/yx3m

Replies (12) Good night (2374) Bad night (535)
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(269): View more from Michigan

just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.

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(269): just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment. http://tfl.nu/lbx2

Replies (3) Good night (792) Bad night (1280)
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(850): View more from Florida

If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.

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(850): If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through. http://tfl.nu/odn6

Replies (7) Good night (1095) Bad night (611)
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(641): View more from Iowa

If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.

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(641): If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics. http://tfl.nu/etl3

Replies (8) Good night (1574) Bad night (573)
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(907): View more from Alaska

I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.

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(907): I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places. http://tfl.nu/na1m

Replies (2) Good night (384) Bad night (728)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.

(410): View more from Maryland

By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!

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(410): Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey. (410): By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey! http://tfl.nu/tmhf

Replies (16) Good night (2473) Bad night (796)
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(212): View more from New York

I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.

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(212): I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream. http://tfl.nu/ohie

Replies (6) Good night (331) Bad night (1018)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?

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(479): Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday? http://tfl.nu/k0ma

Replies (8) Good night (576) Bad night (283)

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