Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket

  (212): View more from New York

  Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......

  (212): View more from New York

  Really

  (941): View more from Florida

  You win

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket (212): Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants...... (212): Really (941): You win http://tfl.nu/2qfe
  Replies (4) Good night (2700) Bad night (813)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it. http://tfl.nu/bdg5
  Replies (34) Good night (10832) Bad night (1577)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem? http://tfl.nu/dk03
  Replies (24) Good night (866) Bad night (3272)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women. http://tfl.nu/xpcj
  Replies (8) Good night (3301) Bad night (1112)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life http://tfl.nu/drtj
  Replies (6) Good night (6397) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma http://tfl.nu/d8kr
  Replies (9) Good night (1005) Bad night (3355)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink http://tfl.nu/w0ij
  Replies (12) Good night (7341) Bad night (1274)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana. http://tfl.nu/vvio
  Replies (43) Good night (1369) Bad night (3573)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday? http://tfl.nu/raf6
  Replies (14) Good night (2203) Bad night (1162)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time" http://tfl.nu/be6i
  Replies (11) Good night (4499) Bad night (804)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious http://tfl.nu/bk41
  Replies (2) Good night (1206) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town. http://tfl.nu/067f
  Replies (14) Good night (756) Bad night (1000)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy" http://tfl.nu/jtam
  Replies (0) Good night (734) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie http://tfl.nu/swy2
  Replies (2) Good night (824) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me. http://tfl.nu/0a0k
  Replies (1) Good night (366) Bad night (307)

Randomize