Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?

  (847): View more from Illinois

  haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.

  (217): View more from Illinois

  ... oops

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity? (847): haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that. (217): ... oops http://tfl.nu/gsy7
  Replies (4) Good night (1241) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location. http://tfl.nu/j750
  Replies (30) Good night (4597) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar. http://tfl.nu/crfd
  Replies (7) Good night (3343) Bad night (1997)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost. http://tfl.nu/3w08
  Replies (9) Good night (4087) Bad night (916)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit. http://tfl.nu/udb7
  Replies (13) Good night (3812) Bad night (2481)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup. http://tfl.nu/ksxk
  Replies (10) Good night (2605) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest http://tfl.nu/zut9
  Replies (18) Good night (1297) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): A beer is a heart your wish makes!!! http://tfl.nu/w148
  Replies (4) Good night (1437) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender. http://tfl.nu/0llk
  Replies (1) Good night (1113) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex. http://tfl.nu/smrh
  Replies (13) Good night (1750) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =| http://tfl.nu/59tx
  Replies (5) Good night (302) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.

  (1-678): View more from Georgia

  I want to change all my life goals to that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans. (1-678): I want to change all my life goals to that. http://tfl.nu/4r6x
  Replies (3) Good night (630) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism? http://tfl.nu/3od1
  Replies (3) Good night (919) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential http://tfl.nu/2oz5
  Replies (1) Good night (345) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far. http://tfl.nu/jtyr
  Replies (1) Good night (526) Bad night (201)

Randomize