i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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