More tranny stories later!
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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