Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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