You just made me feel so damn special
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
