i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
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I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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