How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Sponge bath it is.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize