i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
