He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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